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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 11:19:53 GMT -5
What if members of heamyha were a baseball team? What would be the batting order?
1. CF kaybli: Most posts or ABs means first in the order 2. 3B noetsi: Perfect position to lay down a bunt and stay on top of things
3. 1B pippsheadache: Of course he has to play 1B like Wally Pipp and be given a prominent position in the lineup
4. LF inger: Colorado funnyman batting cleanup, posts often coming out of left field, prone to Plantar Assitis
5. DH GreatFatness: Protecting inger with more hilarious content
6. SS rizzuto: Witty master of puns protects GF
7. RF CHIYANKEE: Chicago Neil Young Lover with strongest arm on the team
8. C michcusejoe5: Argumentative yet lovable hard hitting catcher 9. 2B domeplease: Speed threat for use in circular lineup. PED usage.
Bench: maizeyankee: formerly prolific poster, now part time player
desousa: mutli-position jack of all trades Renfield: other half of the inger comedic platoon
bluemarlin: up and coming prospect
uehara1: spot starter
Injured List: sierchio: traded to Pittsburgh?
anthonyd: carpal tunnel syndrome from late night posts acuraman: blocked from posting at work because this is classified as a porn site
numbers: burnt chest from ironing shirt while wearing it yankee89: broke rib from sneeze bearman: cut finger playing with drone
Retired: utahyankee: lost another one to the political thread!
chuckthblade: focusing on his announcing career
Feel free to submit your own lineups!
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 12:22:25 GMT -5
Former General Manager:
Yankee54. Still trying to Acquire Austin Jackson. Blustery Steinbrenner clone...Fired after trash collectors union ate entire team buffet after a victory and swept out their trucks on Yankee Stadium infield, piling banana peels on home plate...
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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 12:23:04 GMT -5
Former General Manager: Yankee54. Still trying to Acquire Austin Jackson. Blustery Steinbrenner clone...Fired after trash collectors union ate entire team buffet after a victory and swept out their trucks on Yankee Stadium infield, piling banana peels on home plate...  |
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 12:35:12 GMT -5
I don’t give up centerfield for many people, but since I’m well beyond my baseball expiration date, I don’t mind so much. The only way I’m getting anything in the gap anymore is if I can take an Uber...And my once powerful throwing arm now requires the relay man to come out and remove the ball from my hand.
I can still provide plenty of pop, though. Both of my knees, my left shoulder and neck pop regularly along with my wrists, one ankle and my knuckles. I require constant hydration, so I’ll be carrying my Bubba Thermos out to left field and around the bases with me.
Speaking of bases, the only way I’m stealing one is if the equipment guy forgets to lock the store room door...
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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 12:43:33 GMT -5
I don’t give up centerfield for many people, but since I’m well beyond my baseball expiration date, I don’t mind so much. It was always my dream to play centerfield so I took it when I had the chance. Sorry inger. You get LF.  |
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 12:49:17 GMT -5
I’ll volunteer for BUC under the following conditions:
1. Mich never misses an inning
2. If he does, I get a freebie to kick his gonads
3. I must be allowed a beach chair behind the plate
4. My padding will have the word “Serta” emblazoned on the front.
5. If I have bloat that day, the ump will “understand”
6. If the ball gets past me, the umpire will fetch it
7. No nail polish
8. Batter is positioned in front of batters box
9. Face guard modeled after bee-keeper equipment
10. Pitcher may not throw hard, or make the ball move in any direction.
Let me know if I get the job.
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 12:51:17 GMT -5
I don’t give up centerfield for many people, but since I’m well beyond my baseball expiration date, I don’t mind so much. It was always my dream to play centerfield so I took it when I had the chance. Sorry inger. You get LF. I’ve lived that dream probably over a thousand times, so I’m honored to yield to you. I feel like Babe Ruth now, hitting a home run for a little boy dying in a hospital... |
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Post by chiyankee on Apr 21, 2019 12:57:53 GMT -5
Great work Kay! The stuff you guys come up with is hilarious. |
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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 12:59:28 GMT -5
Great work Kay! [img src="//storage.proboards.com/6828121/images/udcwFqPimnXDtjoTmoVL.gif" alt=" " class="smile"] The stuff you guys come up with is hilarious.  |
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Post by anthonyd46 on Apr 21, 2019 13:01:40 GMT -5
Forgot to hire bluecountry to take the survey of away team fan attendance.
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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 13:03:01 GMT -5
Forgot to hire bluecountry to take the survey of away team fan attendance. |
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 13:13:50 GMT -5
Forgot to hire bluecountry to take the survey of away team fan attendance. He’ll be there. We just don’t list all of the administrative positions in the team brochure. Karl will certainly be part of the analytics department, in particular the “anal” part, for instance. He’ll need help for the “Ytics” portion. He’ll be constantly moving between his office and the walk to and fro the library, so we’ll need to locate near a library. Just don’t ask him to research the term he amy ha, because he doesn’t get it... If you decide your playing days are over we’ll have you running the show in analytics and record-keeping. Wow! You could be Karl’s boss!!! Kaybli will be the first player-owner in the league’s history. That’s mostly because the league has no history and also because the team has no value. |
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 14:10:42 GMT -5
I don’t give up centerfield for many people, but since I’m well beyond my baseball expiration date, I don’t mind so much. It was always my dream to play centerfield so I took it when I had the chance. Sorry inger. You get LF. You playing centerfield? YOU? You know, this is the kind of thing that keeps jwildfogel away, right? This is why we can’t have nice things around here... Lol, I’m recalling a back and forth with him where he insisted he was a far better centerfielder than I could have been. It had a lot to do with how he took so much joy from taking hits away from the opponent, like his mental desire to catch the ball could propel his body beyond it’s regular capacity to pursue the ball and contort his body into superhuman shapes to be able to pull it in. There seemed to be a special obsession for stealing hits...He didn’t specify anything about stopping extra bases or his throwing arm, just taking those hits away. It was a bit bizarre to the point that I finally assured him he must have been better afield than I... I wonder if it might have been a bit like having Sheldon Cooper patrolling centerfield, had Sheldon Cooper ever taken an interest in such endeavors... “If I position myself in the 37th quadrant for this batter and turn my body at an 8 degree angle to compensate for his propensity to hit the ball with a bit of reverse spin, I should be able to gain a half-step in the event the bat head gets slightly more out in front than one would normally anticipate. I notice the grass is a bit damp, so I wore extra long cleats because I sure don’t want to have to dive and potentially stain my uniform or (gads!) perhaps my hand”. I miss jwildfogel. I really do. But he was a different flavor than the average Joe on a baseball forum...Of that there is little doubt... |
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Post by kaybli on Apr 21, 2019 14:26:03 GMT -5
It was always my dream to play centerfield so I took it when I had the chance. Sorry inger. You get LF. You playing centerfield? YOU? You know, this is the kind of thing that keeps jwildfogel away, right? This is why we can’t have nice things around here... Lol, I’m recalling a back and forth with him where he insisted he was a far better centerfielder than I could have been. It had a lot to do with how he took so much joy from taking hits away from the opponent, like his mental desire to catch the ball could propel his body beyond it’s regular capacity to pursue the ball and contort his body into superhuman shapes to be able to pull it in. There seemed to be a special obsession for stealing hits...He didn’t specify anything about stopping extra bases or his throwing arm, just taking those hits away. It was a bit bizarre to the point that I finally assured him he must have been better afield than I... I wonder if it might have been a bit like having Sheldon Cooper patrolling centerfield, had Sheldon Cooper ever taken an interest in such endeavors... “If I position myself in the 37th quadrant for this batter and turn my body at an 8 degree angle to compensate for his propensity to hit the ball with a bit of reverse spin, I should be able to gain a half-step in the event the bat head gets slightly more out in front than one would normally anticipate. I notice the grass is a bit damp, so I wore extra long cleats because I sure don’t want to have to dive and potentially stain my uniform or (gads!) perhaps my hand”. I miss jwildfogel. I really do. But he was a different flavor than the average Joe on a baseball forum...Of that there is little doubt... Oh Sir J. What a guy. |
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Post by inger on Apr 21, 2019 14:36:19 GMT -5
I suppose we could let him be our equivalent of Joe DiMaggio. The great retired icon of our franchise. Greatest living player, Hall Of Fame centerfielder that we can only aspire to be. Played the game with grace and dignity. Wouldn’t go lowbrow and join the competing league...
MrG can be our Gehrig. Died way too soon with more to be accomplished, perhaps Trane our Thurman Munson, killed tragically and suddenly.
I’m convinced that every person we interact with, and even some we don’t, shape our lives every day. We don’t consciously recall all of the interactions, but they do have a lasting effect...We are after all... interconnected...
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